Without getting overtly metaphysical, existential, or going into a long explanation about attracting positive energy I will say that every now and then its good to look at the people you keep around.

Take note of the people you spend your precious free time with. Some of them may be holding you back, some will keep you running in place (which to me is about the same as holding you back), though hopefully they are helping you to become a better person.

We tend to hang out with and confide in people that we “have known forever” though this may not be in your, or their best interest.

Consider this; you have one very best friend. You guys go everywhere together, do everything together. That sounds great but you both will be limited by those shared experiences. If they have poor eating habits you best believe some of that will spill over in your direction.

The same goes with only hanging out with like minded people. Some times I just turn on Fox News just to see what they have to say. Sure I don’t agree with any of it but nonetheless it’s interesting to hear something totally different than what I may think or believe. With Fox News for me admittedly it’s more of a “know your enemy” thing but on the subject of friends it’s good to have friends that do things you would not. Even better when they have qualities you can admire because you may be lacking in those areas.

Renaissance.

So yes, variety is key in regards to your friends roster if you want to be a Renaissance man or woman. Keep some social friends with excellent confidence; find conservative friends with superb discipline and good credit. Learn from them and show them a few things as well. Many of us hang out with those who are not helping us to be better people.

Receptor.

Be observant. At the end of the day you could be surrounded by talented people and you just may suck at recognizing the qualities they have you should learn.

There will be times when the fact that you may have outgrown someone smacks you in the face.

II had one such moment a few years back. It was with one of my oldest friends. We were best friends in high school, roommates in college at one point and all that. In any case at the time of this event both of us were in our mid to late 20’s. I had to take this trip to the Caribbean for business. Yeah I know lucky me. So I invite my friend on the trip because his birthday was that same weekend. We get there Thursday morning I handle my business that Thursday and Friday while the offices were open and then after that it was time for fun since his birthday was that Friday.

So that night we go to some bars or whatever. We were early, and eager to have fun. We started drinking early. Anyway we meet these two young women in their early twenty’s that were sisters. It was one of their birthdays. My friend was pushing up on one of them real hard. I was not at all interested in the sister. Meh.

The bar was at the end of a pier over the beach and I went outside by the water and I started making some phone calls. The more I tried to ignore “the sister” the more she would pop-up within eye range. Before we knew it the bar was packed and was in Reggae club mode. I told my friend that the sisters were WIC, WIC, WACK and that we should go to a different spot.

Around that same time the chick he was trying to get with gets up on the bar and proceeds to dance on the bar. I actually took an iPhone photo of her as she stood over me gyrating. To this day that photo is my evidence of her eternal wackness. That really helped when I later had to relay this story to our shared friends.

In any case the sister tries to get with me over and over and increasingly more aggressive. I told her I was not interested and when she asked me a few more times I got annoyed and I told her “she couldn’t pull it off if it was the draws.” I always wanted to say that and I finally got the chance. She then asked me if I was gay and I laughed. Anyway I told my friend I was leaving because she was cock-blocking me from talking to anyone else there by being up in my face. I told him where I was going and I left to hit up the ATM. So I’m walking back from the bank toward the next bar and I see this fool walking up the beach with these same two chicks.

I laugh.

When we meet he says he’s going to the “telly” with both of them and I give him the Kanye shrug. Like ok handle your business I’m going to this next bar. He proceeds to try to convince me to f*ck the sister so he can score and at that point I start laughing even harder.

He told the sisters the bar I was headed to so the sisters mention wanting to go to that bar. At that point I was like fu*kit man I’m going back to the telly you guys can have a good time.

This is where it gets interesting.

So a little later this fool shows up at the hotel carrying on about how I am such a bad friend. He goes on about how it’s always about me and that I should have fu*ked the sister so he could too especially since it was his birthday. Then this dude goes on and on about old shit. I mean very old shit.

In the end I just laughed in my head. I new at that point for sure that I would not be hanging out with this dude ever again. Not just because dude was trying so hard to get with a chick that he wouldn’t walk down the street with if he was sober. Not even just that he was coming at me so raw for not promoting that kind of behavior. The fact of the matter is that if we were in high school maybe early on in college I may have sympathized with his point.

As a grown ass man it’s not that serious. I don’t feel the need to be able to say oh I hooked up with X,Y, and Z on any trip to feel validated about anything. The fact that he was so pressed was a huge indicator that we were on totally different wavelengths. I realized that he still was on a spring break adolescent mindset of “Yo I gotta fuck something” and apparently what she looked like didn’t matter. Dude had not really grown since we used to hang out back in the day. That’s fine, though not something I particularly feel the need to want to be around.

Funny thing is that it took a larger isolated incident to bring to light all the smaller signs I missed. I could go on about that but I think you see my point.

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
- Thoreau

Sometimes and much too often we keep people around that do not drive us to become better people or put us in situations we have evolved beyond. I really like to be around people that inspire. Active people who are excited about what they are doing. When you see them they have something new to share. That type of energy is great.

Sometimes you just have to let people go. Like the friend that you have that still wants to go to the club every Friday night. Things change, and people evolve.