A few nights ago I was on Facebook working on an application for a client (I promise) and I got a chat message from an unlikely person. I hate when people on Facebook use random pictures instead of their own for this very reason. I had just accepted a friend request from this person though when I accepted I thought she was someone else entirely. It turned out to be a friend of an ex girlfriend from college. I didn’t know her that well.

Long story short after small talk she asks if I’m single and we end up having this long chat about relationships and dating. She goes into how she despises dating and goes into how (she thinks) she’s so ideal and wonders why she is still single.

I tell her frankly that she must be crazy. Like Halle Berry type crazy. We all know Halle must be crazy and by that I don’t mean crazy as in insane asylum candidate but crazy in that no one is going to put up with her shit type crazy. The on the outside she looks like a keeper but you know in your gut that somethings wrong with that chick type crazy. Halle has been through one too many husbands to run the its not me its them defense.

I must admit though, I was impressed by her resume. Lady is very well educated comes from a good home (no daddy issues), has traveled extensively, loves to cook, has no baby daddy’s, and is attractive. Though after a lengthy chat her problem became apparent. For one she was cocky as shit. She admitted that there was nothing a man could offer her other than being around and sharing a life. I laughed at that. I also laughed at how she bragged about things like Nina Simone singing at her birthday parties growing up and other things of that nature.

This all came to a head when she went into the fact that the last dude left her because he said she did too much. She was puzzled at that. She said he had a trip with friends out of state and she got them hotels, and even sent them hangover baskets among other things. She did things she thought were sweet but most likely came across wrong because its not about doing a lot its about doing the right things.

He probably got away to get away… and also away from her as well. One well thought out gift is better than five random or wrong ones. So maybe her dude just didn’t want all that and she was feeling herself too much. I have been in that situation. Sort of.

Its like when a woman gets upset and feels that you don’t appreciate what she does for you when in fact you don’t want what she did or does in the first place. You would rather she did something else. If you throw a surprise party for me and I hate surprise party’s I will not appreciate it and I wont fake that.

Lets not shoot from the hip. Make it count by making sure it’s what he or she wants. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, or so they say.