I really do need to write these down. These pile up and I forget them. Obviously it was much easier to pull these from the text/sms list on my phone. Here goes:

“Not really sure where your head is at.”

How do you even answer that. Is that a question? At that point I don’t think she really wants to know. I’m thinking your corny. Have some tact.
-40 points.

“So r u being rude texting me right now?”

Obviously trying to find out if I am out on a date with someone else. Pretty lame, not slick and of course very obvious. Why not just ask?
-60 points.

“Kool yea would like 2 meet there if dats ok”

Are you seven years old? Really? Get this… this is supposed to be from a grown ass professional woman who manages multiple restaurants. At least use cool slang or whatever if you want to abbreviate. Unattractive. She probably watches BET as well though I didn’t stick around to find out.
-60 points + ejected

“What are we doing?”

Every guy has at some point fell prey to this number right here. I say this question is dumb because its like “How don’t you know? ARE YOU NOT HERE?.” It’s always a fuck moment. You don’t want to be super sarcastic which is entirely too easy and in most cases you know that the gig is up. You either have to accept the forthcoming label waiting to be bestowed upon you or you can jump out the window. Choose your own adventure. -60 points. (discounted points because I’m sure this damn question is instinctive for women and well it may be genetic and not be entirely their fault. Still don’t do it ladies. Please. No.)

“I think I’ll make you wait three months. Yeah! Three Months.”

I laughed out loud. At the time I wasn’t even sure I wanted up in that. Hilarious. She was much to old (mid to late 30’s) to be talking that nonsense. At that point I was pretty sure she was disqualified.

Bonus: Shortly there after we were on my rooftop deck drinking and it started drizzling and she made a comment about her weave. That was the end of that. The wombo combo of wackness.
-60 points + -40 point bonus + ejected