So after a stimulating conversation with a female coworker about dating I began to realize something that had eluded me for many months.

I was seeing this woman, and I knew she was not the “one” though she was not bad by any stretch of the imagination. Actually if we were to sit down and have a conversation about her (which I did) I would sound crazy for complaining about anything.

Fairly attractive. Not exactly model material but she is good looking. Didn’t annoy me like most women I date tend to do. Has her shit together. Graduate degree holder, home owner, works for one of the top three firms in her field with a promising career. The sex was great and she was not one of those chicks who was all fast (literal motion) with head either. No sprint, all finesse.

I digress… So yeah, on paper she sounds great and every time I would talk to friends about not wanting to get super serious with her they would look at me weird. That is until I realized that the underlying reason I refused her was because she was sheep.

Aside from her accolades at work, and the sex, I realized that she was common and to me that made all the difference. For example if left to her own accord (me not regulating) she would watch BET, MTV, and VH1 like it was good programming, listen to top 40’s music. She thought a Caesar salad was a healthy option on a menu. How does the saying go… Her glass was already full. There wasn’t much space too add anything in it. Mostly full with fairly standard notions about life, style, and what is cool. You know. Like when Kanye said “How you ordered all that food and a motherfu*king diet coke.” You have to be sheep to think that diet coke sh*t is fine to drink.

Ok, maybe I’m going in on her a bit but only sheep would consistently find BET. MTV or VH1 programming entertaining right? That crap is for THE MASSES. This chick thought that the Transformers 2 movie was a great movie. It blew my mind. I grew up on Transformers and wasn’t too fond of that slightly racist movie. Needless to say a conversation about plots and tropes were out of the question.

What I need in addition to her qualities was someone who is more of a non-traditional thinker. A bit more creative. More intelligent. I guess what she had was enough to keep her around but not enough to get excited about. I’m more for someone to run left field with away from the flock.

Before Mary J Blige made “My Life” Trends of Culture dropped this. Both contain samples from the Roy Ayers classic “Everybody Loves The Sunshine.”

Prior to this Trends Of Culture dropped Off and On. But you knew that already.

Seeing as how today is the anniversary of the untimely demise of arguably one of the greatest emcees I think its only right.

During my teenage years I lived only a few blocks from where Notorious BIG lived and hung out. A few blocks from Fulton Street in Bedstuy. The corner and blocks that you see in the Juicy video are literally a few blocks from where I lived. So yeah we were excited when that video came out. I also lived across the street from Buckshot at one point but I’ll save that for another time.

In any case one summer day after Ready To Die really just started to pick up steam in the streets we were hanging out on the block sitting on my steps cracking jokes. So a van pulled up with camera men and BIG rolled up in a truck. There was this illmatic vintage grafitti mural from the 80’s on my corner back then that said “Happy Birthday Best” (no one ever tagged over it) some will know where I am talking about strictly off that because there was also one of the biggest weed spots in Brooklyn around the other corner of this very same block. Even your favorite rappers from New Jersey made appearances to cop some there so yeah it was one of the buddah spots in Brooklyn back then. That is until on my way home from school one day there was a shooting in front of said weed spot and I saw a man murdered. But again that’s a tale for another day.

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Random fact. I know Jeru’s moms. HA. Told you it was random.

So hold up. Im reading this blog and I guess I was living under a rock but I somehow missed the fact that Mos Def married this ex stripper chick after only knowing her for about four days. Whoa.

The kicker is that HE refuses to sign the divorce papers and they are still married today. I called it in my post about strippers. Show me a stripper that doesn’t have a sordid background and I’ll eat my words.

I just find it funny that 9 out of 10 black actors only win these types of awards for playing negative and stereotypical characters.

See “Hustle & Flow” or Halle Berry in Monsters Ball.

Denzel for Training day over Will Smith as Ali.

I could go on…

Mass coonery, harmelss comedy or true satire? You be the judge.

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Some funny products come through the office to be marketed and this is no exception. Its’ DRANK!

Ignorance at its finest. I’m sure Lil Wayne drinks tons of this stuff. Sizzurrp anyone?

It reminds me of the Dave Chapelle skit about grape drink.

“What the fu*ck is Juice? I want some GRAPE DRINK! Its purple!”

“The Ingredients: Sugar, water… purple.”

“When life comes at you fast remember to slow your roll with DRANK.”

To: Jay
From: brooklyn

Adult Swim’s “Robot Unicorns Attack” has invaded my office. All this talk about unicorns and ironically I get this message that says:

YO! I CANT STOP PLAYING THIS!

I have been laughing at the absurdity of this web game for the past 20 minutes. People in the office heard me laughing hysterically and had to play it for themselves. Its so cheesy its awesome.

That music… get it out of my head. Please!

We really need to sit down and get to building that game.

Try it:
Press “Z” To Chase your dreams.

The new Gorillaz video featuring Bruce Willis. The new album Plastic Beach will be released on March 8th.

Shout out to Donwizzy for the heads up.