I was taking a shower this morning and it occurred to me that very few of the women I have been involved with got romance right. There is a surprising number of women that sit back and wait for guys to be romantic. Some have even told me that I should be buying them lingerie and of course then I laughed at that as I do now. Not even one of them that said that really wore lingerie for me ever in the first place. I don’t have a problem doing that but the real issue is that most women wait on guys to be romantic, or never reciprocate and still expect and sit back waiting on it with a false sense of entitlement.

In my experience the most unromantic ones were also the most surprised when it was over and it was more of a sizzle that stopped sizzling. No blowups, no big fights. It was just me over it. These very same women would make comments such as “you don’t light candles anymore” or “you used to buy me flowers” but thinking back to them and their random expressions of love they came up flat.

Apparently there is nothing more attractive to women than a guy in a relationship. Trust me women come out the wood works. Its uncanny. Knowing that, it blows my mind how some women think that they don’t have to do special, romantic, or intimate things for their guys. Especially considering that the intimacy is the only thing that separating them from the random jump-off also throwing it at guys every day hoping he will take the bait. Same goes for guys I would imagine because you know like Chris Rock said any dude offering to do anything nice for any woman nine out of ten times is just really him offering her some dick. So guys keep this in mind.

If someone is special then treat them as such.

A few nights ago I was on Facebook working on an application for a client (I promise) and I got a chat message from an unlikely person. I hate when people on Facebook use random pictures instead of their own for this very reason. I had just accepted a friend request from this person though when I accepted I thought she was someone else entirely. It turned out to be a friend of an ex girlfriend from college. I didn’t know her that well.

Long story short after small talk she asks if I’m single and we end up having this long chat about relationships and dating. She goes into how she despises dating and goes into how (she thinks) she’s so ideal and wonders why she is still single.

I tell her frankly that she must be crazy. Like Halle Berry type crazy. We all know Halle must be crazy and by that I don’t mean crazy as in insane asylum candidate but crazy in that no one is going to put up with her shit type crazy. The on the outside she looks like a keeper but you know in your gut that somethings wrong with that chick type crazy. Halle has been through one too many husbands to run the its not me its them defense.

I must admit though, I was impressed by her resume. Lady is very well educated comes from a good home (no daddy issues), has traveled extensively, loves to cook, has no baby daddy’s, and is attractive. Though after a lengthy chat her problem became apparent. For one she was cocky as shit. She admitted that there was nothing a man could offer her other than being around and sharing a life. I laughed at that. I also laughed at how she bragged about things like Nina Simone singing at her birthday parties growing up and other things of that nature.

This all came to a head when she went into the fact that the last dude left her because he said she did too much. She was puzzled at that. She said he had a trip with friends out of state and she got them hotels, and even sent them hangover baskets among other things. She did things she thought were sweet but most likely came across wrong because its not about doing a lot its about doing the right things.

He probably got away to get away… and also away from her as well. One well thought out gift is better than five random or wrong ones. So maybe her dude just didn’t want all that and she was feeling herself too much. I have been in that situation. Sort of.

Its like when a woman gets upset and feels that you don’t appreciate what she does for you when in fact you don’t want what she did or does in the first place. You would rather she did something else. If you throw a surprise party for me and I hate surprise party’s I will not appreciate it and I wont fake that.

Lets not shoot from the hip. Make it count by making sure it’s what he or she wants. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, or so they say.

Classic Mos Def.

We both on assignment to unearth the diamond
When you start climbin’
And them eyes start shinin’
You be strugglin’ and strivin’
And they think you prime-timin’
Maintain and keep silent make note and observation
This confrontation
This is the daily operation
My concentration
Stay focused on my recitation
‘Bout to reach my destination with no pause or hesitation
Baby make the preparation ‘cuz this ain’t no recreation
This is Pro Ball!
And we lettin you know y’all
At the show y’all
Doin’ this for dough y’all
Get the phone call
And I’m ready to blow y’all
‘Bout to go y’all
Been a pleasure to know y’all

Ah, the breakfast “Okey Doke.” All guys fall victim to this one and all ladies do it. Remember the chick you met that made you breakfast that one time early on when you started to get to know her?

You loved that. And that was the proverbial “Okey Doke” because that was probably the last time she did that. Truth is she doesn’t really cook breakfast often. And you fell for it. Now you guys are exclusive and you get no breakfast.

How did that happen? How did you get there? You were fooled!

Were you fooled? It’s a trap.

A Trap?

Ladies don’t realize that the “Breakfast Okey Doke” is representative (pun intended) and the beginning of why most guys refuse to get married to them later on. It’s that initial disappointment from something given or introduced then taken away that has guys so skiddish.

Do you know what guys fear most? The marriage Okey Doke.

The number one fear aside from needing new pussy (smile) is the fear that the woman who they thought was IT for them and totally enough to keep them from needing new pussy will change up on them. To guys its like getting punk’d on some never ending twilight zone shit. If your a guy I know you just cringed.

Men fear that women will change for the worse when they morph into “the wife.” Married men that I have encountered seem to reinforce this theory because most married men I know are the most pervy and seemingly sex deprived creatures on the planet. They salivate and eye fuck chicks all day. Ugh. But I digress.

No single man wants to turn into that mess. It all starts with the breakfast Okey Doke.

I’m on to you women with your trap a brother shenanigans. Breakfast be damned!

I guess great minds think alike. I just posted this Exhibit A / B / C track last week. It randomly popped back up in my mind after so many months and now its the audio they choose to use for this Boondocks season 3 trailer.

This upcoming season will be the FINAL SEASON. Pour some out.

Shout out to Donwizzy for the heads up.

Timothy Elpadaro Thedford aka Jay Electronica (Je’Ri Allah) is a rapper and producer known for his use of percussionist film soundtracks as a background for his abstract lyrical style, and his associations with Erykah Badu, Just Blaze and Nas.

He produced the first track, “Queens Get the Money”, on the 2008 Nas album Untitled. The unconventional nature of much of his music, and the lack of conventional release methods for that music, have since 2007 made him the object of much attention. He was perhaps best known for the piece of music Act 1: Eternal Sunshine (The Pledge), until the release of the Just Blaze-produced track “Exhibit C” in late 2009.

So this quote by Jill Scott on marriage and lazy dudes did rub me wrong. In it she asserts that playing PlayStation is somehow the trait of a lazy dude. While yes, there’s a plethora of lazy dudes out there, she has it wrong when it comes to what that has to do with games.

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This video for ‘Is It A Crime’ originally released January 1986 directed by Brian Ward is one of Sade’s best. The song is originally from the “Promise” album and is one of my favorites as well. I’ll spare you the “Got damn! This kills everything your going to hear on the radio this month” speech.

Just remember some things you can’t take back.